Can you count how many self-help or motivational articles you've read, or how many books you've purchased or borrowed on the subject? Have you tried self-help seminars, maybe even ordered videos or the complete CD set sold by the latest and greatest motivational guru?
Yet, even with all that storehouse of knowledge, and all the effort you can manage, nothing has changed. You haven't found your dream job, taken that exotic vacation, become rich beyond your wildest dreams and your family isn't as bonded and beautiful as the smiling families at the end of one of those reality nanny shows.
It can be frustrating and leave you feeling even worse about yourself than you did before, because now you have the added guilt of having failed at one more "sure-fire" method to becoming your elusive ideal.
But maybe it isn't you - at least, not from your current perspective.
Have you ever noticed in restaurants, how the dishes are all the same size, no matter who orders the meals? A waif-like woman will receive a plate of food filled with exactly the same proportions as the tall, muscular construction worker at the next table. When the wait staff comes to clear their plates, they may find she's only eaten half of her meal. "Is there anything wrong?" the waiter might ask. "Oh, no," she'll reply and pat her stomach delicately. "I'm just full." At the next table, the construction worker has not only cleaned his plate, but he's eaten all the breadsticks, the appetizer, and he's asking for a dessert menu as he's eyeing his date's dinner with obvious menu-envy.
Does this mean that the waif should feel like a failure because she wasn't able to eat all the food? Should the construction worker feel like a failure because he's still hungry? Of course not, and you know that, but the concept is too often forgotten when it comes to measuring personal success.
One size does not fit all. It isn't true of pantyhose, restaurant meals, diets, prescriptions, hobbies, or any host of things. And the "one size fits all" approach is definitely not true for sure-fire success programs either.
The next time you decide to try a new motivational program or self-help seminar, or even revisit one that you have an inkling could work for you, keep one thing in mind: One size does NOT fit all.
By all means, listen to what the coaches or instructors have to say, and learn as much as you can, but don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself if some of those great ideas don't fit you or your lifestyle.
Modify. Take what works for you from this program, and something that worked from that program, keeping track in a journal or in a computer file. Implement those things that are workable, that make you feel better about yourself, or that give you enough incentive to take on a little more. Develop your own methods from the lessons you've learned. Over time - weeks, months, years (only you can know the pace that's right for you) - you'll see that you've developed a program that truly works for you. And who knows? You may be the next great motivational guru and we'll all be racing out to buy your books, CDs, and videos.
Or best case scenario, you'll come to know yourself a little better and when that happens, you begin to accept yourself as you are and when you find yourself saying "I'm doing the best I can," it'll be evident.
Instead of that little phrase feeling like a cry of failure, it'll be a statement of your success.
The suggestions here refer to motivational and success types of programs. Diet, exercise, mental wellness, or any programs requiring an expert's care should be followed according to the advice given by those professionals. This is not to be construed as medical advice. |
