A story is told about an old farmer who was improbably accused of being the father of a teenage girl's baby. When confronted, all he said was: "Is that so?" He was shunned by the community and forced to pay support. Years later, news reached him that the now grown-up accuser recanted. She said he was innocent, after all. He said, "Is that so?" There are dozens of ways to interpret this tale, but here's what I make of it. People can and will say lots of things about you, and almost all of them will be distorted. We can't control what they say, so the best thing to do might be to hear whatever it is, and then let it go. Even if it means we accept a loss of face, or suffer a threat to reputation, these harms are often temporary. Certainly, we shouldn't get caught up in letting other people's judgments become our own, or even adding our judgments to those that are flying around. If we can give our best, step back, and let it speak for itself, or be silent, that's optimal. Imposing a layer of judgment on our actions just takes us out of the stream of life. If others waste their time in doing this, it's their loss. If we judge ourselves, it's our loss. |
