Addiction has been influencing man since Adam. It can have such an affect on him or herself and family members and friends that the destruction it brings does look like the victim of addiction is doomed powerless, hopeless, helpless and unworthy. BUT THEY'RE NOT, AND THE ADDICT IS NOT. It's only through connecting with other addicts that one can even believe there is a way out. Plenty has been written and there is plenty of opinions, however to truly recover from this lifelong dis-ease it takes bloody hard work. The work I'm referring to is not pleasant because hey, if the victim of addiction had really tried thoroughly he or she would not still be using. Addiction separates us from what we were intended for, from what our purpose is, as human be-ings. I once heard, "No man is an Island......" it was well intentioned. It is this connectedness with each other that fulfills all our deepest needs. The issue is that addicts do not know what they need basically. All they know is the need for the next fix to dull the pain, which is really SHAME in its purest essence. SHAME is the root cause of addiction. The pain of SHAME is buried by the substance the addict chooses to use. That SHAME comes from childhood and was not felt, processed or acknowledged back then. Not to mention the SHAME from the consequences of abusing any substance which is piled on top of the childhood SHAME. Addiction does not cure this SHAME, if only the addict real-ised that. It lies dormant only to be triggered by a word, a touch, a situation, a picture or a feeling in the present tense. The pain returns, the addict reaches out for pain relief. The cycle starts all over again. The addict hates themselves, ab-hore's themselves. Their SELF-ESTEEM is nil no matter what their outer appearance shows. Nothing changes until, the 'GREAT ROCK BOTTOM'. Thank God for the 'great rock bottom'. In each and every addict there is but 'one value' that could be threatened. When this value is, an opportunity for recovery is at hand. Now every addict is different and the moment of the 'value threat' is different. The key for loved ones is to find out what this value is, and set Boundaries accordingly to unmask the addict. A successful intervention will occur. There are exceptions as in every rule. In extreme cases of sexual or violent abuse the SHAME is so grand that the value is very deep to find. The loathing of oneself is so profound that the addict is seeing death(self-destruction) as a nice alternative rather than accepting their powerlessness over their substance of choice and embracing the pain within, SHAME. And so the human malady will continue as long as their is people dying in their dis-ease because it is a family dis-ease and untreated abuse/addiction is hereditary. Treated, the hereditary lineage can be broken as with sexual-abuse also. Re-parenting is required as the child within is the one holding the be-ing to ransom in his SHAME SHAME must be faced and yes it is painful. The addict has tried to avoid this pain (SHAME) all his life. There are no short cuts yet the payoff for facing this SHAME and being healed is far greater an experience than the 'normal' persons experience of life is. Funny that hey. The addict requires a spiritual path, a spiritual energy that equals the high of the substance of abuse. The substance of abuse was always a counterfeit to the true spiritual energy at all human be-ings disposal. One more thing, Prayer helps as does Grace from a Power Greater but not less than us hu-mans. The choice to recover and face our demons(SHAME) will be met by GRACE, HEALING and best of all FREEDOM and UNSELFISH LOVE. Monique Louise Hill http://www.wounded-healer-support.com |
