I've been reading M. Scott Peck's famous The Road Less Travelled a book I've heard so much about and been wanting to read for ages but somehow just haven't gotten around to, up until now. The first line of his book says that 'Life is Difficult,' which he interpreted from the first of the Buddhist Four Noble Truths which says, 'Life is Suffering' which I don't think Buddha meant literally, but was probably more getting at what M. Scott Peck was saying that life is in fact tough, difficult and often filled with problems. I mean on the face of it, that's no great revelation because if you've lived for any length of time, you'll know that to be trueJ Yet why do so many of us resist that fact? Forever complaining or moaning rather than accepting and dealing with it, which ironically in doing, allows you to transcend the difficulty because in accepting and surrendering to it, it's no longer an issue. How's that for a Zen-like wisdom? lol Seriously, because life is a nature of opposites good/bad, black/white, up/down without pain and suffering there can be no real experience and understanding of joy, without problems or difficulties to help mould us, there can be no real spiritual growth. As M Scott Peck says: 'The tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness.' That's from a world-famous Psychiatrist, but I'm not sure our friend Bill from my last newsletter agrees with those sentiments because he made a violent attack on what I had to say in response to his letter, which if you want to read again you can do so at my blog here:
http://www.addiction-uncovered.com/blog/ There is enough scientific evidence to suggest that the primary cause of drug addiction and alcoholism is genetic. As for the other major cause of addiction, whether it be alcoholism, drug addiction, sex, food, gambling, look no further than M.Scott Peck's assertion 'the tendency to avoid problems and emotional suffering ' Of course we all tend to avoid problems and emotional suffering to a certain degree, but the addict goes to extraordinary lengths and will rather drown his sorrows or numb his pain in alcohol and drugs so as to not have to deal with his problems and emotions. The fact is life is always going to have problems, pain and difficulties and so to live a successful life means to learn how to deal with these. I think there are many people out there and I do this myself sometimes - who kind of cling on to a fairytale vision of existence where things are just so smooth, effortless and pain-free. But the reality is that's never going to happen. It's like a famous Zen saying that goes something like: 'Before enlightenment, carrying water, chopping wood. After enlightenment, carrying water, chopping wood.' In other words life hasn't changed, but rather our attitude and experience of life that has changed. You just begin looking at life through a different set of eyes, that's all. So the first thing you need to do to be able to live a successful and happy life - or overcome an addiction for that matter is to Stop Living in Denial and Get Real. We all sometimes live in a certain extent of denial whether it be around our relationships, jobs, state of health or the true nature of our addictions. It happens, we're human. But to move forward, learn and grow from an experience you've got to break through your denial, which is probably the biggest obstacle facing a drug addict or alcoholic. Addiction 101 that gets taught in rehab spends a large amount of time in helping people break through their denial. Until you get real about your alcoholism and drug addiction, there can be no progress. There can be no ifs and buts and becauses. You've got to be able to get totally honest with yourself about what's going on. But the reason we don't like to do that is because it's painful and so 'sugar-coating' on a small scale or full-blown denying on a large scale is the result. Once you've done that, you can move onto step two, which is Taking Responsibility For Your Actions. There are no-doubt pretty painful things that have happened to you during the course of your childhood and adult years. No one can change that. But you can't keep using them (sometimes unconsciously) as an excuse or justification to drink or do drugs. You have to learn to make peace with your past and to forgive yourself and those who have hurt you. That's probably one of the most painful and difficult things you'll probably have to learn to do, but at the same time one of the most liberating because it will finally enable you to break free from the shackles that your past has kept you in. And then step three is having the Discipline to take the necessary Continuous Action that will keep you off the drink and drugs and that will support you growth and development as a person. There is no shortcut in overcoming alcoholism and drug addiction the speed of your progress is directly proportionate to the commitment and effort you put in. And that's where most people fall short. It's one thing knowing what to do an entirely different thing doing what you know you should. I wrote my book Addiction Uncovered (find out more here: http://www.addiction-uncovered.com) to help people with the above three steps, to provide them with a blueprint, a guide in helping them overcome their addictions. But I'm also not nave enough to think it's going to help everyone who uses it because many won't have the discipline to follow through and follow all the steps and actions I suggest. It's sad, but its also life. It's a reality I have to face even if my wish is that it will make a dramatic difference to the life of everyone that gets it. And on that note I will love and leave you for now. Make a conscious decision today that you're going to begin to front-up to your difficulties and problems, no matter how painful, and in doing so ensure your own personal and spiritual growth and ultimately a life free from all addictions. Remember, the power lies within. |
