Do you know that most happy couples actually do fight?What sets these lovebirds apart from unhappy couples is that they know the rules. They fight fair! They agree to never become physical or emotionally abusive, and uphold their commitment above and beyond all else. They also know that they are safe and that their partner will not threaten to leave them even in the heat of the moment. How do you ensure safe fighting? First of all, make some ground rules and stick to them. Many couples agree that they will not go to bed mad, even if that means that they need to take a time out, walk around the block (or jog a couple miles!) or get away from the situation for a half hour or so to cool off and keep things in perspective. An important point to remember is that to resolve issues, both partners need to be calm and non-defensive. It takes two to communicate, which requires good listening skills as well as being able to clearly express feelings and the desired outcome. Happy couples agree to keep their eye on the 'big picture' and know that disagreements are inevitable but commitment is forever. They try to avoid making mountains out of molehills and use humor to diffuse an argument whenever possible. Some have a key phrase they'll throw out when things heat up that reminds their partner that they love them and they'll get through this. You may actually be in trouble if you let your relationship deteriorate to apathy with no real desire for your partner to listen to your viewpoint or to hear theirs; you may not even care if youre not on the same wavelength. When this happens, emotional closeness and intimacy is lacking and you may just start living as roommates. Put the damper on this before its too late.Happy couples know that bottling up feelings only festers resentment. They learn to talk things through and not run from disagreements that will and do come up. They realize that disagreements themselves are rarely the downfall of most relationships and what is important is how they are handled. A gentle touch. A soft smile. Realizing that you're in this together. You're on the same side!Dont let a good thing die! Take care of your relationship! |
