It looks so easy. Cant anybody fool around for an hour chatting with celebrities? If you get a hot celebrity like our neighbor north of here, Bruce Willis, he takes over the show and you can sit back and enjoy. That should be easy. The other night Bruce Willis came on Letterman and I could hardly wait for him to get out there. At first, I couldnt see what his joke was going to be. Then he turned his head. The right side of his face was plastered with buckshot. Not too long ago, he came on Letterman in a green suit. I dont remember why. I just know it was funny and I expect fun from Bruce Willis when he appears on a show. I cant imagine what it would be like if he showed up on the Daily Show. He and Jon Stewart would blow our minds, wouldnt they? Last night Leno had a sexy actress on the show. She is single and prefers dogs to men. She has six dogs as I remember and she travels with four of them. People are interested in dogs so her appearance was a success. (Not!) The actress had large mammary glands and they were somewhat exposed. Normally, Jay would spend a good deal of time about how sexy his guest looks, but the young actress was too sexy and nothing had to be said about her appearance. By ignoring the sex topic other than a casual comment that his wife was watching, Jay had a better interview than he usually does because he talked about the actresss interest and not his interest. The interview was about the same as the last time this beauty came on his show, but nobody seemed to care. They were there for the view. The interviews on talk shows are not enough to maintain interest. Often those interviewed are brainless twits and as boring as dairy mud. Paris Hilton came on the Letterman show and couldnt give an answer to the simplest question. She had nothing to say and that is what she said. Other activities have to be included. The audience want some structure in the show that allows surprise. Without that, the show is dead. Did you see Oprah give away the cars? That was a media event. Did you see Letterman walk Oprah, arm in arm, across the street to the theater? Did you see Lettermans crew drop watermelons off the Sullivan Theater Building to the street below? And that is the point of this article. The job of the host of a talk show is to make sure that the audience is continually entertained. Leno is a standup comedian and he therefore uses that as his forte. Letterman is a clown, and downplays that part of the show. When I say downplay I mean he keeps his monologue short. Helen Degeneres likes to dance on her show. Her dancing is awful and I always hit the channel button when she does it. Some gimmicks dont work for bearded old men. If I were to ask you how Leno and Letterman compare with Johnny Carson, you would probably say that there is no comparison. Carson was the master of the monologue (and the skit) as was Jack Benny and Bob Hope and Rodney Dangerfield and ten other comedians you know. So the monologue isnt everything. Letterman generally does a better job of interviewing then Leno, but neither compare with Jack Paar, Johnny Carson, Jon Steward, or Fred Allen. They get by. Leno likes to make fun of people and things. He does not see irony like a comedian like Jerry Seinfeld but he sees the obvious. He likes to go out on the street and interview the flotsam and jetsam that flows along. He is sexually minded and usually is looking for something sexy about every female that walks down the street (and who joins him in celebrity chit chat.) Letterman is a lady sniffer too but to a much less degree than Leno. Leno looks for lechery in the men. Last night Leno was asking the audience to guess if street people had a tattoo. The audience was very good at this. Everybody had a tattoo but one and they guessed that too. This type of antic is good because it brings the audience into the program. They are taking part. He does the same thing when asking the audience if a particular weird item sold on EBay. Letterman uses sideshow tactics to get a laugh. His skit Will it Float is a contest between him and Paul. The audience is not directly participating but each person in the audience forms an opinion. So he gets the same effect. What do the girl with the rings and the girl with the grinder and the two stand-around girls have to do with this act? Everything! Every picture needs a frame. The most important factor for a person that has to stand in front of a television audience night after night or day after day is to develop a continuing relationship with each member of the audience. This is not an easy thing to do for some people. Letterman is not a personal kind of guy. He keeps things close to his chest. Leno is somewhat this way, but Leno has a warm personality, almost loving, and people relate to him. Watch Leno with animals versus Letterman. Letterman wonders if the animal is going to pee on him. Leno holds the animal close and loves it. That transfers to the audience. Oprah is a monumental warmth bunny. Everybody loves her and wants to get closer too her. (That must make her life hell.) Leno is going to be replaced by Conan OBrian is a few years. Conan lacks now what is needed to succeed in that role. He is mainly a clown and probably doesnt have a serious bone in his body. He likes the skit. After a while his tactics can become tedious. But the host is not the whole show. Conan should do well because he is well know, will be more seasoned, and will have good writers and show directors that will get the show into a successful format. Those writers and directors should start practicing now. Jon Stewart is hosting the Oscars this year. Letterman completely bombed out on that assignment. He made an absolute ass of himself and he still regrets it. Jon Stewart will be a big success if he doesnt get too vulgar. I think he will entertain the actors more than the television audience. That is a risk he has to take. Success on the Oscar show will probably bring Jon greater opportunities than what is offered on Comedy Channel. Watch out Letterman and Leno! |
