Very few cycling garments are worn in the mall when trolling for a good time. Cycling sunglasses are an exception. Tight cycling jerseys with three pockets across the back are seldom seen. Mall rats dont choose cycling shoes with cleats- they look funny and its hard to keep the ghetto pants from falling off when you're tapping along the tiles with your toes in the air. Somehow, I like that visual. I haven't seen too many pairs of bonafide cycling shorts there either. Mall enthusiasts wear their shorts and pants so low that I doubt anything made of cloth has ever contacted the groin proper. Bike shorts with that special chamois caressing them might shock them into questioning their sexual orientation. But cycling sunglasses- yea, theyll work. So what makes them 'cycling sunglasses'? I suppose the label. But there are some features that make cycling sunglasses stand apart. They have to be unbreakable, for example. Thats right, glass lens are ill-advised. But dont despair- with all the revolutionary new plastics out there, youll never miss the heavy ole glass devils. And these plastics are tough, Im telling you. So tough, theyll protect you from a variety of road hazards. Such as... -little flying rocks -little flying bugs -moderate sized flying bugs -winds that will dry out your contact lenses -boogers from the guy ahead of you in the paceline -flying splinters if youre riding on old wood sidewalks in Virginia City You get the picture.Theyll even protect you from the second most damaging agent out there (after boogers)- namely UV rays. Ive got a pair of cycling sunglasses with interchangeable lenses. Dark lenses for sunny conditions, yellow lenses for overcast days when more contrast is needed, and clear lenses for dark times when hazard protection is needed, but light is at a premium. I must admit that when I heard about interchangeable lenses I thought of 'flip-up' sunglasses. You know, the kind that nerd tourists wear to Disneyland. Ive noticed that when most products try to do more than one task, they do none of them with excellence. And they usually look dorky along with their mediocrity. Not so with the interchangeable-lens-cycling-sunglass! The lenses snap in and out very firmly, so theyll never fall apart. They look so 'natural' youd swear they were engineered by Hollywoods most renowned plastic surgeon. Hell sell you a pair that look 'perky'...and 'well-rounded'. But will they stay on? Look no further than the winter Olympics! The skaters had their glasses (well assume they were cycling glasses) on over the humiliating looking hood of their speed suits. What this did was effectively eliminate the advantage of having ears. And they still stayed on! So whats the point? The point is...even cyclists without ears can wear cycling sunglasses with confidence. How about pricing? If youre one of those who think that the economy is really kickin butt because your wallet just keeps getting fatter and fatter, 'Rudy Project' or 'Smith' sunglasses can be had for a couple hundred bucks a pair. If you wonder when all the good economic news is going to trickle down to affect you personally, follow my lead. I received a pair of glasses from Performance Bike for Christmas (Winter Solstice Day for you pagan infidels) that work great. Theyre relatively inexpensive, they break wind, they provide UV protection, they bend but dont break, they stay on even without the use of ears, and most importantly... They look good at the mall with ghetto pants and skater shoes. |
