There are several great psychologist and researchers who have studied human development. Lawrence Kolhberg studied moral development, Eric Erikson studied psychosocial development, Jean Piaget studied cognitive development and Herbert Levinson studied adult psychosocial development. So, we have some wonderful road maps of change. Well take a look at psychosocial development because these developmental milestones help us understand the transitions of adult development. Each decade marks a general developmental stage. The decades hallmark approximate ages of each stage. We can rush ahead into different stages or lag behind depending on our experience. Most people dont know what to expect after they become an adult. We wonder if others experience such radical changes and sometimes periods of self questioning. Lets take a look at some things you can expect in adult stages. THE 20's - LEAVING HOME This can be a time of living others dreams or rebelling against them. You are more susceptible to peer opinion and therefore less likely to be inner directed. You still feel you have many options and may become stuck when you try to narrow it down to just a couple of options. There is often a sense of freedom, yet some fear because you realize your life is yours to create. This is a time of trying on relationships, jobs and living situations. You often still feel like a kid whos pretending to pass as an adult. You may balance back and forth between wanting to be a grown up and wanting to be free. THE 30's - MAKING IT This is typically where you establish your work, your family, hobbies, religious beliefs, political views and financial attitudes. You become solid in the outside world. You are building concrete signs of being an adult. You may buy a home, have children or stay in a career with benefits. You may feel a sense of urgency. With different high-level achievers in the world you may feel if you dont make it in your thirties, then your life long dream will never happen. What you may not realize now, is that you have and ENTIRE lifetime to reach, re-envision and create your dreams. THE 40's - TAKING CHARGE & INDIVIDUATION This is the age when your deepest longings, your inner desire, your true and new dreams begin to surface. Youve been so busy making it that you may have forgotten what is really important to you. You may find yourself attracted to workshops, new careers, booksanything that will help you become your authentic self. Often people dispose of the life they created in the 20s and 30s in pursuit of finding themselves. Its important to really look at your life before you destroy what youve created. Often people make surface changes rather than deep internal shifts. My professional experience with this is often the new life that is created is a Xerox copy of the old life only with a different partner, upset kids, blended families, child support and less, rather than more freedom. It is possible and often the most desirable for you to transform your life within your current relationship and have more love for your current partner and your kids in the process. THE 50's - INTERDEPENDENCE Those who successfully navigate the 40s have a wonderful surprise waiting for them in the 50s. There is much more emphasis on living rather than earning a living. There is joy and freedom at a job well done in parenting. Many people report that they feel like kids again. Their own children are out of the house, and now they can date their partner, dance, kiss and be spontaneous. There is a resurgence of energy. People who are in their 50s are seen as leaders in their work and community. Friendships increase and a certain amount of giving back to the world also increases. THE 60's - RETIREMENT OR NEW BEGINNINGS This is the time many have waited for, but may require some planning. You are at a choice point in your life. You can choose to sit, learn nothing and grow old and stagnant. Or you can begin many things anew; cultivate new interests, involvements and passions. Many of us will live into our 80s and 90s. So, its best that we decide to do something fun and positive. This is a time to commit to your physical health, your relationships and your spirituality. You may choose to mentor others during this time. THE 70's - ELDERS WHO ARE EXCELLENT You are used to change by now. Youve seen blessings and adversity. Some of your friends have died and your own parents are often gone. In your 70s you can see the legacy youre leaving. We either integrate who we are and what weve accomplished, or we feel weve lived in vain. Its important at this age to look at all the lives weve touched in large and small ways. THE 80's - EGO INTEGRITY VS. DESPAIR In the 80s you realized the fullness of the life cycle. You are a wonderful cultural resource, living almost a century. Youve seen changes, advances, wonderful things and sad things. You are a great resource for all of us. You generally have grandchildren and some, great grandchildren. You see your lifes legacy while still remaining present. |
